Monday, July 16, 2007
why??
why?? why?? i put in my full effort in this.. why i just cant get it?? i focus, i listened to teachers... and why isnt the result as expected?? why?????!!?!?!! i dun understand...
i seems to grow ultra negative today.... & tot about alot of things... when i felt so depressed, did anyone of u realised tt?? no one... when i feel sad, did any of you saw that?? no... while i managed to console ppl, did anyone managed to console me?? no... when i really disappointed, did anyone even bother to console me while i bothered to console u when u r sad... have?? dun have... when i put in so much efforts in something, is thr really any formal recognition of my efforts??? no... others succeeded in wad they r doing effortlessly... while i, put in countless of efforts in, and gets nothing back... when i heard others persevere & got wad they want, i did the same & persevered... and wad do i get?? more obstacles.. n after overcoming them?? i still get nothing... when i care for u but not appreciated, do u noe how hurt i m?? doubt so... do u noe how torturing it is to act happy whrby i m just numbed inside?? again, doubt tt u will ever noe i felt tt way... do anyone of you even know how much i blamed myself when things doesnt go right cos of me?? guess not... when the whole class, including tcher regarded me as a slacker, did anyone of u come tap on my shoulder & says " dunt worry!! u will definitely make it for u r Os!!" no one.. not at all...
its understandable though... for i have acted just oo happy all the time, some one hu really doesnes seems to care much for my subjects & wad ppl say to me... perhaps i gave ppl such impression... only 1... 1 person hu seems to be able to c it?? one... one only.. but sad to say, tt person no longer bothers anymore....
was wondering is the hu so ever hu controlled my fate & so on playing tricks with me?? i had lost 2 important frends.... but i hang on, persevered...and i got even worse stuffs... & i still persevered... wad happens?? bad results... is thr anymore thigns coming my way?? come...i will take any....more doenst makes any difference now.. i dunt give in to fate, i persevere & hang on... yet things just come after & another, pushing me down... tts wad i called a rather sad yet not so sad life... compared to fortunate, its sad... compared to less fortunate, its already a gd life....
2:00 AM
i will never let you go;
