Saturday, January 17, 2009
hello ppl... ok i guess im toking to the wall. hm, sch reopens le. things werent as easy as before. this yr workload is much more. juggling it with many other things makes it even worse.. well, honestly, i dunt haf much things to juggle with actually. but i noe i nid to fill up my free time... its too much of thm... its my only way to distract myself... im trying my best to adapt n accomodate... hm.. it wasnt as simple as i tot. perhaps, its true tt things tt we truly desired takes much more efforts to obtain... haha. when it used to come tt easily, i failed to cherish. now tt its harder, yet i cherish it so much. i do hope tt day will come... tts my wish... i noe i have to do much more. more stuffs.. more things... or maybe, its not about tt. its more about the habit of life? i dunno. im confused. things arent tt clear to me nowadays.. thr r too many uncertainties... it just blurred my vision, blunt my judgement.
i now can only rely on my faith, intuition, hope. perhaps support from frends. this is the toughest thing i had ever encountered in my 17 yrs of life... maybe the worst is not here yet. wadeva. i told myself... wen it comes to this, i cant care so much le. its either i hang on n seize the opportunities tt lies in front of me, i will not survive it. yes. i haf become tt desperate.. losing her is not an option. maybe its true tt i cant expect things to be the same as before. mentality changes..i guess.. wadeva it is... i must be more flexible. in order to adapt, accomodate to the situation. in order to be closer to my dream. haha. how i wished i could be with u. how i wish we can stay together till our life journey comes to an end.. i got to do more things to do tt.
do u ever noe? tt i suddenly felt.. we were very similiar.. in character or personality... i felt... i used to be like u now. n i now used to be like u in the past. i understand beta how u felt in the past. n how u may felt at certain point of time. its interesting.. tt we can haf a chance to truly experience the feelings tt we used to be unable to understand... if we can cross this, i believe... the trust n understanding will be beta.. much stronger.. perhaps, even wadeva problems may lies in the future may not be tt bad already. i just hope we can manage to cross this... no matta how hard it is, i will try... i hope u will work together with me too... trying to close up the gaps between us..
its true tt u r all tt matas to me now.
its true tt im v irritiating
its true tt im v luo shuo.
its true tt im v possessive.
its true tt u alr noe all these.
but i still wanna say.
i still love u lots.
4:24 AM
i will never let you go;
